My last post was exactly four months ago; making this my longest gap between posts to date. Not exactly the writing goal I had set out for this year. Like always, life happens. I will get you up to speed sometime, just probably not entirely today.
How is Tessa doing? She is actually doing really great. First grade has been fantastic so far. Her health is good and she is becoming a remarkable young lady. This is the first time–in probably her entire life–that things have been relatively calm and consistently normal. She still sees quite a few specialists and has already slightly ventured right into sick season, but this routine change of pace has been quite nice.
The rest of our family is doing well also. Outside of being extremely busy with work and things for the kids, we are preparing for the holidays; knowing they will be here and gone before we know it.
We have spent the better part of the last sixteen months settling into our new place. While this property is unbelievably gorgeous, it does require plenty our time, focus and energy. All of which is well worth the joy of residing here and enriching our children with the unique experiences that country living has to offer.
The more we settled in, the quicker I realized that the goals for our family were beginning to shift. For four years my husband and I had contrasting ideas about what our future might look like. I always joked that we were on a different page…in different books…in different libraries. Our dreams were certainly different. They always had been.
It wasn’t until moving here, that we began to see things together. We envisioned a future with similar hopes. We set goals together and began to find balance that would satisfy us both. Not without conflict or sacrifice because…well…marriage; but there was something about this agrestic lifestyle that opened our eyes and hearts to the possibility of something more.
I sold nearly every last baby related item we owned a few years ago at a garage sale at our old house. I had finally began to accept that we would likely not welcome another baby into our lives. It was a decision that troubled me for a long time, but we had made the decision that our family was complete. There were three things I hung onto, you know, just because. Like the pack ‘n play for nieces and nephews if they would have a sleepover. The solid white bassinet for nostalgic purposes. And apparently a hand-me-down crib that neither my husband nor I remember keeping that definitely made the move.
In early fall, the conversation came up again. The “what do you think about a baby” conversation. It was a topic that had been thrown around numerous times over the last several years and by that point I had grown sort of numb to it. There was a reason this continued to come up, but we were both either too scared or too proud to admit it.
“I don’t know. What do you think?”
We thought of a thousand reasons to not do this again…
But none of them seemed good enough to rule it out.
There was never going to be a perfect time to have a baby. We knew we wouldn’t regret having another baby, but we knew there was a chance we may regret our decision to not.
We are thrilled to share our news! The girls are extremely excited to be big sisters, and we cannot wait for our family to expand in early July. I am almost out of my first trimester and, outside of wanting to eat every carb or meat in sight, I am feeling well overall. We had our first OB appointment and baby seems to be doing great.
Side note. Last weekend, while feeling especially exhausted, I decided to sit in my chair and scroll through Facebook. “Why not take this quiz that will predict how my year will end,” I thought to myself as I saw the results of one of my friends. PREGNANT. That was my ironic result. While I thought it was hilarious and strange, I quickly closed out of it and got back to being lazy–totally unaware that the quiz either shared automatically to my page or I somehow did it without realizing it. Fast forward thirty minutes and my phone is dinging with notifications for my post. Post? What post? Crap. By then, there was no deleting it. I just let people stew on whether or not the result was accurate. That is the last friggin’ Facebook quiz I’ll ever take. Except probably not.
Stay tuned peeps. ❤